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Sunday, 26 April 2009
How to Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

To Maintain A Health Level of Insanity:

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.  See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom.  Don't disguise your voice!

3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

5. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for Marijuana'.

6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-thru order is 'to go'.

9. Sing along at the opera. 

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you have a headache. 

11. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream 'I won!  I won!' 

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling 'run for your lives!  They're loose!' 

13. Tell your children over dinner, 'due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.' 

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity 

14. Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter and ask where the fitting room is...

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 1:02 AM EDT
Updated: Sunday, 26 April 2009 1:06 AM EDT
Monday, 17 March 2008
Irish Luck
Mood:  lucky
His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. 

There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. 

'I want to repay you,' said the nobleman. 'You saved my son's life.'

'No, I can't accept payment for what I did,' the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel. 

'Is that your son?' the nobleman asked. 
'Yes,' the farmer replied proudly. 
'I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.' And that he did.
Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.  
Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. 

What saved his life this time? Penicillin. 
The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.  His son's name? 

Sir Winston Churchill. 
Someone once said: What goes around comes around. 
 Work like you don't need the money. 
Love like you've never been hurt. 
Dance like nobody's watching. 
Sing like nobody's listening. 
Live like its Heaven on Earth. 

It's National Friendship Week. Send this to Everyone you consider A FRIEND. 
Pass this on, and brighten someone's day.

May there always be work for your hands to do; 
May your purse always hold a coin or two; 
May the sun always shine on your windowpane; 
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain; 

May the hand of a friend always be near you; 

May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 10:02 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 14 March 2008 10:17 PM EDT
Friday, 14 March 2008
Pet Syndrome
Mood:  cheeky

Ifyou have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome, including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet.
Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me  there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom !"
I was equally outraged.
"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth).
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked
"Wel l, isn't THAT just great? What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know.
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later     
"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug.  It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.
"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for G~d's sake.).
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. .. Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . .. . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So, Ernie's just just . . . excited," my wife offered.
"Exactly," the vet replied , relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just that I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its. . . teeny little ". She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:
Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.
Lizards lay eggs!

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 9:51 PM EDT
Updated: Friday, 14 March 2008 10:35 PM EDT
Thursday, 12 July 2007
What is an American?
Mood:  not sure
Written by an Australian Dentist:

To Kill an American

You probably missed this in the rush of news, but there was actually a report that someone in Pakistan had published in a newspaper, an offer of a reward to anyone who killed an American, any American.

So an Australian dentist wrote an editorial the following day to let everyone know what an American is. So they would know when they found one.

"An American is English, or French, or Italian, Irish, German, Spanish, Polish, Russian or Greek. An American may also be Canadian, Mexican, African, Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Australian, Iranian, Asian, or Arab, or Pakistani or Afghan.

An American may also be a Comanche, Choc taw, Cherokee, Osage, Blackfoot, Navaho, Apache, Seminole, or one of the many other tribes known as native Americans.

An American is Christian, or he could be Jewish, or Buddhist, or Muslim. In fact, there are more Muslims in America than in Afghanistan. The only difference is that in America they are free to worship as each of them chooses.

An American is also free to believe in no religion.
For that he will answer only to God, not to the government, or to armed thugs claiming to speak for the government and for God.

An American lives in the most prosperous land in the history of the world.

The root of that prosperity can be found in the Declaration of Independence, which recognizes the God-given right of each person to the pursuit of happiness.

An American is generous. Americans have helped out just about every other nation in the world in their time of need, never asking a thing in return.

When Afghanistan was over-run by the Soviet army 20 years ago, Americans came with arms and supplies to enable the people to win back their country!

On the morning of September 11, Americans had given more than any other nation to the poor in Afghanistan.
Americans welcome the best of everything: the best products, the best books, the best music, the best food, the best services.
But they also welcome the least best.

The national symbol of America- The Statue of Liberty, welcomes your tired and your poor, the wretched refuse of your teeming shores, the homeless, tempest tossed.
These in fact are the people who built America .

Some of them were working in the Twin Towers the morning of September 11, 2001 earning a better life for their families.
It's been told that the World Trade Center victims were from at least 30 different countries, cultures, and first languages, including those that aided and abetted the terrorists.

So you can try to kill an American if you must. Hitler did.
So did General Tojo, and Stalin, and
Mao Tse-Tung, and other blood-thirsty tyrants in the world.
But, in doing so, you would just be killing yourself.
Because Americans are not a particular people from a particular place. They are the embodiment of the human spirit of freedom.
Everyone who holds to that spirit, everywhere, is an American.

Please keep this going!
Pass this around the World
Then pass it around again.
It says it all, for all of us
Please do not just delete.
Pass it on first.


Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 12:01 AM EDT
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
Please Read This! It's A Matter of Life & Death.
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: State Police Warning / Urban Legend that is possible!

Please pass this on 
State Police Warning (serious)

Police officers working with the DARE program have issued
this Warning: If you are driving after dark and see and on-coming
car with no headlights on, DO NOT FLASH YOUR LIGHTS AT THEM! This is a common Bloods member "initiation game" that goes like this:

The new gang member under initiation drives along with no headlights, and the first car to flash their headlights at him is now his "target.".

He is now required to turn around and chase that car, then shoot and kill every individual in the e vehicle in order to complete his initiation requirements. Police Depts across the nation are being warned. 

Their intent is to have all the new bloods nationwide drive around on Friday and Saturday nights with their headlights off. In order to be accepted into the gang, they have to shoot and kill all individuals in the first auto that does a courtesy flash to
warn them that their lights are off.

Make sure you share this information with all the drivers in your family! Please forward this message to all your friends and family members to inform them about this initiation ritual.

SR Dispatcher Tracey Sharber
Kentucky State Police 
Post 3 Bowling Green
P.O. Box 0068
Bowling Green , KY 42102
Phone: (270) 782-2010 
Fax: (502) 564-3507

Robert Fincher
Crittenden County Sheriff's Department 
Narcotics Division
870-702-2040 (Office)
901-601-0099 (Cell)

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 11:19 AM EDT
Updated: Thursday, 19 July 2007 11:33 AM EDT
Thursday, 24 May 2007
Using plastic containers, foam containers, and plastic wrap (Saran) can cause cancer

Cancer update -- Johns Hopkins -- Cancer News from Johns Hopkins:
>   1. No plastic containers in micro.
> 2. No water bottles in freezer.
> 3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
> Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This 
> information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army MedicalCenter as 
> well.
> Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer.
> Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't 
> freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases 
> dioxins from the plastic.
> Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle 
> Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He 
> talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us.
> He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave 
> using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that 
> contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and 
> plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells 
> of the body.
> Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or 
> ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only 
> without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and 
> soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in 
> something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the 
> paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.
> He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants 
> moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is 
> one of the reasons.
> Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as 
> dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As 
> the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually 
> melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food.
> Cover food with a paper towel instead.
>Spread the word!!!

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 12:01 AM EDT
Thursday, 17 May 2007


Someone sent this to me and I thought it was interesting:

A couple of weeks ago I was unfortunate enough to get stung by both a bee and hornet while working in the garden. My arm swelled up so off to the doctor I went. The clinic gave me cream and an antihistamine.

The next day the swelling was getting progressively worse so off to my regular doctor I went.

Infected arm - needed an antibiotic. What was interesting is what the Dr. told me. The next time you get stung put a penny on the bite for 15 minutes. I thought, wow next time (if there ever is one) I will try it.

Well that night Shelley's niece got stung by two bees When she came over to swim I looked at the bite and it had already started to swell. So off I went to get my money. Taped a penny to her arm for 15 minutes. The next morning, there was no sign of a bite. Wow, were we surprised. Her niece, we decided, just wasn't allergic to the sting.

Well guess what happened again on Saturday night. I was helping Shelley deadhead her flowers and guess what? You are right, I got stung again two times by a hornet on my left hand. Was I ticked. I thought, here I go again having to go to the doctor for yet another antibiotic.

Well I promptly went into the house, again got my money out, and taped two pennies to my bites and then sat and sulked for 15 minutes. The penny took the string out of the bite immediately.

I still wasn't sure what was going to happen. In the meantime the
hornets were attacking Shelley and she got stung on the thumb. Again the penny.

The next morning I could only see the spot where he had stung me. No redness, no swelling. Went over the see Shelley and hers was the same.  Couldn't even tell where she got stung. Then Shelley got stung again on Monday night on her back---cutting the grass.

This penny thing is going to make us money at school. Again it worked.

Just wanted to share the marvelous information in case any of you are experiencing the same problem at home. We need to have a stock of pennies on hand at school and at home.

The Dr. said somehow the copper in the penny counteracts the bite. I
would never had believed it. But it definitely does work.

So remember this little bit of wisdom and pass it on to your friends,
children, grandchildren, etc.

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 8:35 AM EDT
Saturday, 28 April 2007
?? MARCH = FLIRTATIOUS SLUT! What month are you?
Mood:  cheeky
Pick your birthday month and read it, then repost with whatever you are...

Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best. repost this in 5 mins & you will find true love at 11:00 a.m.

Abstract thoughts. Outgoing.Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive.Fun to be around with. sexiest out of everyone.A real speed demon.
Has more than one best friend. Able to cheer anyone up and make them laugh. Amazing smile. An awesome kisser.
Temperamental. Honest. A very good girlfriend/boyfriend
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

You've got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have a very attractive
partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with an
August brithday. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. When it
comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,
you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
will meet someone that may possibly become
one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5

APRIL means that your really good looking.
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone
you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Sweet talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. An awesome kisser. Sensitive. A very good girlfriend/boyfriend. Amazing Smile.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Has All The Characteristics of John Carrico
Bubbly personality. Suductive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
traveling. Super sexy. Extremley hot but has brains.
If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themselves and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Doesn't gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Very easily hurt but
recovers eventually. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Understanding. Fun to be around. Nympho-and an awesome lover too....makes u happy so that makes them happy...
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you
repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themselves and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
sometime next month.

Attractive personality.Very! Sexy. Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic.Chatterbox! Loves to talk alot! Loves to get their way! . Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed! Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink*. Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbreaker! Can love as much as possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt! Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of ANY of these months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins. someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind. repost
in 5 mins & you will excel in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you.
You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.
spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover. Great kisser. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in
the next 12 days

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Great in bed. Inner
and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. A meaningful love life partner.
Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends.
It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Horny but does fullfill.
Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions.
Knows what to do to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you.Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all.

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 12:51 PM EDT
Wednesday, 5 July 2006
If you lose your cell phone...
Mood:  caffeinated

Here is something worth knowing if you have a mobile phone ....

Have you ever wondered why phone companies don't seem interested in trying to prevent the theft of mobile phones? If you have ever lost, or had one stolen, and if you are on a plan, you still have to pay the plan approximately up to 24 months, and you have to buy another handset and enter into another contract. This is more revenue for the phone company.

There is a simple way of making lost or stolen mobiles useless to thieves and the phone companies know about it, but keep it quiet.

To check your mobile phone's serial number, key in the following on your phone: star-hash-zero-six-hash ( * # 0 6 # ) and a fifteen digit code will appear on the screen. This is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it safe. Should your mobile phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset, so even if the thief changes the sim card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody did this, there would be no point in stealing mobile phones. May want to send this to as many people with mobiles as possible.

No charge for directory assistance - Phone companies are charging us $1.00 or more for 411 - information calls when they don't have to. When you need to use the 411 / information option, simply dial 1-800-FREE-411 or 1 800 373 3411 without incurring a charge.

This is information people don't mind receiving - Pass it on. Works on home phones and cell phones.

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 12:32 PM EDT
Sunday, 25 December 2005
Remember this at Christmas Time!
Mood:  a-ok
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Posted by reverend-amagon-blog at 12:01 AM EST

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