Please Read This! It's A Matter of Life & Death.
Mood:  irritated
Now Playing: State Police Warning / Urban Legend that is possible!

Please pass this on 
State Police Warning (serious)

DON'T FLASH HEADLIGHTS AT ANY CAR WITH NO LIGHTS ON!!
 
Police officers working with the DARE program have issued
this Warning: If you are driving after dark and see and on-coming
car with no headlights on, DO NOT FLASH YOUR LIGHTS AT THEM! This is a common Bloods member "initiation game" that goes like this:

The new gang member under initiation drives along with no headlights, and the first car to flash their headlights at him is now his "target.".

He is now required to turn around and chase that car, then shoot and kill every individual in the e vehicle in order to complete his initiation requirements. Police Depts across the nation are being warned. 

Their intent is to have all the new bloods nationwide drive around on Friday and Saturday nights with their headlights off. In order to be accepted into the gang, they have to shoot and kill all individuals in the first auto that does a courtesy flash to
warn them that their lights are off.

Make sure you share this information with all the drivers in your family! Please forward this message to all your friends and family members to inform them about this initiation ritual.

SR Dispatcher Tracey Sharber
Kentucky State Police 
Post 3 Bowling Green
P.O. Box 0068
Bowling Green , KY 42102
Phone: (270) 782-2010 
Fax: (502) 564-3507

Robert Fincher
Investigator
Crittenden County Sheriff's Department 
Narcotics Division
870-702-2040 (Office)
901-601-0099 (Cell)

Using plastic containers, foam containers, and plastic wrap (Saran) can cause cancer

Cancer update -- Johns Hopkins -- Cancer News from Johns Hopkins:
>
>   1. No plastic containers in micro.
>
> 2. No water bottles in freezer.
>
> 3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
>
> Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This 
> information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army MedicalCenter as 
> well.
>
> Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer.
>
> Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't 
> freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases 
> dioxins from the plastic.
>
> Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle 
> Hospital, was on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He 
> talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us.
>
> He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave 
> using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that 
> contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and 
> plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells 
> of the body.
>
> Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or 
> ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only 
> without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and 
> soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in 
> something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the 
> paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc.
>
> He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants 
> moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is 
> one of the reasons.
>
> Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as 
> dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As 
> the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually 
> melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food.
>
> Cover food with a paper towel instead.
>
>Spread the word!!!

Now Playing: RELIEF OF BEE STING

Someone sent this to me and I thought it was interesting:

A couple of weeks ago I was unfortunate enough to get stung by both a bee and hornet while working in the garden. My arm swelled up so off to the doctor I went. The clinic gave me cream and an antihistamine.

The next day the swelling was getting progressively worse so off to my regular doctor I went.

Infected arm - needed an antibiotic. What was interesting is what the Dr. told me. The next time you get stung put a penny on the bite for 15 minutes. I thought, wow next time (if there ever is one) I will try it.

Well that night Shelley's niece got stung by two bees When she came over to swim I looked at the bite and it had already started to swell. So off I went to get my money. Taped a penny to her arm for 15 minutes. The next morning, there was no sign of a bite. Wow, were we surprised. Her niece, we decided, just wasn't allergic to the sting.

Well guess what happened again on Saturday night. I was helping Shelley deadhead her flowers and guess what? You are right, I got stung again two times by a hornet on my left hand. Was I ticked. I thought, here I go again having to go to the doctor for yet another antibiotic.

Well I promptly went into the house, again got my money out, and taped two pennies to my bites and then sat and sulked for 15 minutes. The penny took the string out of the bite immediately.

I still wasn't sure what was going to happen. In the meantime the
hornets were attacking Shelley and she got stung on the thumb. Again the penny.

The next morning I could only see the spot where he had stung me. No redness, no swelling. Went over the see Shelley and hers was the same.  Couldn't even tell where she got stung. Then Shelley got stung again on Monday night on her back---cutting the grass.

This penny thing is going to make us money at school. Again it worked.

Just wanted to share the marvelous information in case any of you are experiencing the same problem at home. We need to have a stock of pennies on hand at school and at home.

The Dr. said somehow the copper in the penny counteracts the bite. I
would never had believed it. But it definitely does work.

So remember this little bit of wisdom and pass it on to your friends,
children, grandchildren, etc.

?? MARCH = FLIRTATIOUS SLUT! What month are you?
Mood:  cheeky
Pick your birthday month and read it, then repost with whatever you are...

♥ JANUARY = LOSER
Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best. repost this in 5 mins & you will find true love at 11:00 a.m.

♥ FEBRUARY = ATTITUDE
Abstract thoughts. Outgoing.Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive.Fun to be around with. sexiest out of everyone.A real speed demon.
Has more than one best friend. Able to cheer anyone up and make them laugh. Amazing smile. An awesome kisser.
Temperamental. Honest. A very good girlfriend/boyfriend
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

♥ MARCH = FLIRTATIOUS SLUT
You've got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have a very attractive
partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with an
August brithday. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. When it
comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,
you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
will meet someone that may possibly become
one of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5
minutes.

♥ APRIL = PIMP
APRIL means that your really good looking.
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone
you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.

♥MAY = SEXY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Sweet talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. An awesome kisser. Sensitive. A very good girlfriend/boyfriend. Amazing Smile.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Has All The Characteristics of John Carrico
Bubbly personality. Suductive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
traveling. Super sexy. Extremley hot but has brains.
If you repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themselves and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

♥ JUNE = PORN STAR
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Doesn't gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Very easily hurt but
recovers eventually. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Understanding. Fun to be around. Nympho-and an awesome lover too....makes u happy so that makes them happy...
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you
repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themselves and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

♥ JULY = BIG WHORE
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
sometime next month.

♥ AUGUST = THUG
Attractive personality.Very! Sexy. Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic.Chatterbox! Loves to talk alot! Loves to get their way! . Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed! Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink*. Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbreaker! Can love as much as possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt! Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of ANY of these months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.


♥ SEPTEMBER = GORGEOUS
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand.
if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins. someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

♥ OCTOBER = CONDOM
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind. repost
in 5 mins & you will excel in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

♥ NOVEMBER = HOTTIE
Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you.
You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.
spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover. Great kisser. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in
the next 12 days

♥ DECEMBER = FREAK IN BED
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Great in bed. Inner
and physical beauty. Doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. A meaningful love life partner.
Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends.
It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Horny but does fullfill.
Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions.
Knows what to do to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you.Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all.

If you lose your cell phone...
Mood:  caffeinated
IMPORTANT

Here is something worth knowing if you have a mobile phone ....

Have you ever wondered why phone companies don't seem interested in trying to prevent the theft of mobile phones? If you have ever lost, or had one stolen, and if you are on a plan, you still have to pay the plan approximately up to 24 months, and you have to buy another handset and enter into another contract. This is more revenue for the phone company.

There is a simple way of making lost or stolen mobiles useless to thieves and the phone companies know about it, but keep it quiet.

To check your mobile phone's serial number, key in the following on your phone: star-hash-zero-six-hash ( * # 0 6 # ) and a fifteen digit code will appear on the screen. This is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it safe. Should your mobile phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset, so even if the thief changes the sim card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody did this, there would be no point in stealing mobile phones. May want to send this to as many people with mobiles as possible.

No charge for directory assistance - Phone companies are charging us $1.00 or more for 411 - information calls when they don't have to. When you need to use the 411 / information option, simply dial 1-800-FREE-411 or 1 800 373 3411 without incurring a charge.

This is information people don't mind receiving - Pass it on. Works on home phones and cell phones.

Remember this at Christmas Time!
Mood:  a-ok
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Tech Support
Mood:  a-ok
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
______________________________________

REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings - Alimony/Child!Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work
on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support

MEMO TO THE DOG & CAT
Mood:  chatty
Dear Dog and Cat,

When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. (Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate & food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food & dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.)

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue to sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort. Look at videos of dogs and cats sleeping. They can actually curl up in a ball. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. (I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space used is nothing but sarcasm.)

My compact discs are not miniature Frisbees.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine meow, try to turn the knob, or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. (In addition, I have been using the bathroom for years..canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.)

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dogs or cats' butt. I cannot stress this enough. It would be such a simple change for you.

To pacify you I have posted the following message on our front door.....

Rules for Non-pet owners who visit and like to complain about our pets:

1. They live here; you don't.

2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.

3. I like my pet better than I like most people.

4. To you it's an animal. To me he and/or she is an adopted son and/or daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and is speech challenged.

5. Dogs and cats are better than kids. They eat less, don't ask for money all the time, are easier to train, usually come when called, never drive your car, don't hang out with drug using friends, don't drink or smoke, don't worry about buying the latest fashions, don't wear your clothes, don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and if they get pregnant, you can sell the results.

Pass this on to all your pet loving friends as well as those who aren't...it's too cute not to share...

Great Advice!
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

WHY THE AMERICAN FLAG IS FOLDED 13 TIMES
Mood:  not sure
Have you ever noticed on TV or at military funerals that the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the American flag 13 times?

I've known how the 21 gun salute was determine (adding the individual digits of 1776), but only recently learned why the flag was folded 13 times when it is lowered or when it is folded and handed to the widow at the burial of a veteran.

Here it is:

The first fold of our flag is a symbol of life.

The second fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.

The third fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world.

The fourth fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

The fifth fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, "Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong."

The sixth fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our heart that we pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God,
indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The seventh fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.

The eighth fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day, and to honor mother, for whom it flies on Mother's Day.

The ninth fold is a tribute to womanhood; for it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and
women who have made this country great has been molded.

The tenth fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first
born.

The eleventh fold, in the eyes of a Hebrew citizen represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon, and glorifies in their eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

The twelfth fold, in the eyes of a Christian citizen, represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in their eyes, God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit.


When the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nation's motto, "In God We Trust". After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges, and freedoms we enjoy today.


There are some traditions and ways of doing things which have deep meaning.

You will see many flags folded in the coming weeks, and now you will know why.