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Some quotes!

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Always a work in progress.

"What time is it? The same as usual." -- Samuel Beckett

"Only when he has ceased to need things can a man truly be his own master and so really exist." -- Anwar al-Sadat

"I'm gonna find me some super foxy ladies to call me big poppa!" -- Brak

"Who peed in the gene pool!" -- ZB

"I dreamt the kids turned into the Osmonds!" -- Ozzy Osbourne

"Einstein said that if quantum mechanics is right, then the world is crazy. Well, Einstein was right. The world is crazy." -- Daniel Greenberger

"The year 2001 was a lot like the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey. It was too long, best forgotten, and you have to be really, really stoned to understand it!" -- Lewis Black

"Wait til 2010. It will be short and stupid." -- John Kinney

A Jedi shall not know anger. Nor hatred. Nor love. -- Star Wars: Episode II

"This show has been pre-recorded. Of course it was pre-recorded. When are you going to record it, afterwards!" --George Carlin

"I want to be a girl's wet dream. I'm tired of being their damn nightmare."

If it weren't for my horse, I would not have spent that year in college. (Warning: don't think about this for more than a minute, or blood will start pouring out of your ears!)

"Listen, if you're trying to intimidate me, it worked." -- Mick Foley

"Today is the first day of my life... I'M SCREWED!"

"... and I love Britney. Oops! I did it again."

"I'm The Doctor, not The Professor!" -- The 7th Doctor (Dr. Who)

"You teach what you most need to learn."

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

An egotist is a self-made man who worships his creator.

If we aren't meant to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?

No horse is too dead to beat.

"Legends have to begin somewhere."

"Yeah, like Keebler elves."

"There's no 'I' in team, but there's a me.
There's no 'I' in team, but there's a mate.
There's no 'I' in teamwork, but there's an ewok!" -- Zorak

"In the immortal words of Yoda, 'MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!!!' " -- Chuck Limper

"He's a dork. He farts in the bathtub, then bites the bubbles."

"Pot, line 2; it's the kettle."

"It would be a center piece, if it was in the center."

"...go kick some asteroid!" -- Brak

"In the immortal words of Marty McFly, 'you smoke too?' "
"Have a good nipple." -- Duece Bigalow

"Girls like jerks. Fact of life," he said.

"God loves you," she said.

"He has too," he said.

"We're staying together for the sake of... THE DOG!"

"I'm not a real hands on Evil Genius." -- Dr. Evil

"Why are evil geniuses always surrounded by fools." -- Digimon Emperor

"The only true performance is the one which attains madness." -- Mick Jagger

"Out of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." -- Ozzy Osbourne

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